Couples Substance Use Recovery NYC: 5 Strategies For Supporting Your Relationship With Empathy

Unchecked, substance use can get in your way. You know that already. It can quickly snuff out sensitivity to your own best interests and put your cravings at the center of your world. Substance use can create a sort of relationship amnesia too. Often, other people and their needs recede to the furthest part of your mind when your need to drink or use is allowed to rule.

The good news? You’ve decided to stop that train. Your commitment to recovery has made you stronger and ready to focus on your sobriety and recommit to your partner. That’s good news. Here’s how empathy can help you chart a healthier, new path together.

Couples Substance Use Recovery Counseling NYC: Why Empathy is Essential For Relationship Recovery

Empathy is the capacity to understand and grasp your partner’s experiences and points of view. Recovering and tapping into this ability makes all the difference in rebuilding a relationship foundation you both trust.  

Additionally, it’s important to know that empathy supports relationship recovery in the following ways:

  • Empathy eases relationship friction. It slows down reactivity that might otherwise lead to further relationship damage or complete emotional retreat. 
  • Empathy reassures and repairs. It indicates positive change and healing following a period of interaction that may have been painful and fractured.
  • Empathy reduces intolerance. Empathy recognizes each other’s humanity and reduces the tendency to judge or withdraw.
  • Empathy inspires generosity. You naturally desire to give more of yourself to solutions and meet your partner’s needs. In fact, research shows that such generosity is key to personal and relationship happiness.
  • Empathy alleviates self-absorption. Encouraging empathy helps break the substance-supported focus on your own thoughts, feelings, wants, and perceived needs.

As you embrace recovery, empathy for your partner can start to rebound. Working with a couples therapist experienced in couples substance use recovery is an important early step. Such guidance and practical measures, like the following, can help you fully connect and communicate how much you care about your partner again. 

Couples Substance Use Recovery Counseling NYC: 5 Ways to Support Your Partner With Empathy Everyday

Here are 5 ways to start moving away from substance-induced self-concern toward more awareness and sensitivity for your partner. 

1. Meditate

Meditation heightens inner awareness. It soothes your nervous system and promotes more acceptance and openness. This occurs because meditation activates the anterior insular cortex in your brain. This region is sometimes referred to as the “empathy” area of the brain. It is thought to be responsible for internal emotional experiences, including romantic love, trust, anger, sadness, fear, etc. 

2. Learn Empathetic Listening

Your partner likely wants to safely share their feelings with you. Thus, it’s important to develop the ability to respectfully hear, listen and grasp what they are communicating. What does this look like? We call it empathetic listening. To do this well, include the following:

  • Be attentive. Offer your undivided attention.
  • Consciously discard judgment. Validate your partner without minimizing or trivializing their perspective.
  • Observe your partner closely. Notice their emotions and nonverbals to get a clear sense of what they feel.
  • Trade defensiveness and reactivity for quiet patience. It’s okay to be silent so that your partner feels safe and heard.
  • Encourage clarity and further conversation. Thoughtfully paraphrase what you heard without offering solutions. Stick to open-ended questions and propose other times to talk too.  

3. Practice Compassionate Action

Where empathy is awareness and understanding of your partner’s feelings, compassion is an emotional response to that empathy and inspires a desire to help.

Expressing empathy through concrete, caring personal action deepens the connection with your partner. Warmth and closeness can develop as you remain committed to stepping outside yourself to show you care. 

4. Empathize Without Agreement

As you and your partner work your way back to a healthy connection, you’re bound to disagree about certain relationships or activities. How can you cope well and keep growing together? Learning to empathize without agreement is key.

The idea is to focus less on being right and more on retaining open lines of communication. This isn’t easy and requires support and commitment. To keep interactions from being bogged down in blame or ineffective communication, choose a couples therapist that understands the dynamics of substance use recovery.

5. Embrace Generosity

Empathy is at the heart of kindness and unselfishness. As substance use places less demand on your thoughts and energy, you may find it easier to focus on your partner’s wants and needs. Empathy supports your relationship by inspiring compassionate action and meaningful ways to alleviate your partner’s suffering or discomfort. 

Furthermore, the more you empathize, the more you’ll be to give and share with your partner in ways that bring them joy which helps them envision a happier future together.

Couples Substance Use Recovery Counseling NYC: Consider Therapy

All told, empathy is an essential part of relationship building and rebuilding. To improve your connection, therapy for couples substance use recovery is invaluable to setting goals for communication and problem-solving as a team. Why not seek out a guide who can help you tap into the curiosity and sensitivity that helps build the closeness you want? We can help.

The Relationship Suite

We’re here to help you overcome unhealthy behaviors, gain coping skills and create new possibilities together. To schedule a free, 20-minute consultation, please reach out.

As therapists, we have worked with substance use in recovery, the partners of substance users, and the couple. We believe it is essential to handle the situation and its consequences with empathy, acceptance, and patience. With hard work, forgiveness, and the right kind of support and counseling, many couples can heal their relationship and create a new and healthier relationship. 

This takes a lot of time, patience, and persistence, but a new level of trust and intimacy can happen. Please learn more about our Couples and Substance Use Recovery counseling services for help.

 If you’re looking for couples counseling for substance use, call 917-273-8836 or email us. We are currently providing  Online/Virtual Video Counseling to our clients with HIPAA-based platforms.

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in individual and couples counseling. Since Covid, we have been working with couples via Online Counseling in New York, and New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Westchester, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, and Montauk. To schedule a complimentary consultation, click HERE.

We also provide Virtual Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, and Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.