Infidelity in a long-term relationship is traumatic. There is no doubt about it.

Can betrayal be overcome? Yes! Many couples do recover, with help and a plan. Can you be a better team and still live out your beautiful life together? Definitely. Many couples thrive and love deeper with tools and new relationship goals.

Yet, renewed commitment doesn’t mean that betrayal hasn’t fostered very real mental hardship. It takes time and hard work to get back to the best of who you are, individually and relationally. In the meantime, flashbacks, extreme worry, and intrusive thoughts or memories can exacerbate your emotional pain.

In addition, the trauma of infidelity may cause you to wonder if you can ever completely move on. You might wonder how to get past infidelity triggers. Is it possible when your own mind keeps you upset, stuck, and hurting? 

Please know that you aren’t alone. You can cope with the triggers, concentrate on healing, and still create the relationship you deserve. Try to keep these 6 strategies in mind:

Relationship Counseling NYC: Not Sure How to Get Past Infidelity Triggers? 6 Tips To Remember 

1. Looking Too Far Back & Forward Is Disorienting: Stay Present

A lot is going on inside you. There is so much to think about and replay in your head. There is so much you might wonder about (or even want to control) about the future. Yet, the reality is that you and your partner only have right now, the present. 

Resist the urge to escape unhelpfully or destructively. Do what it takes to stay mindful and aware. Try to appreciate each moment and your efforts to recover as they are. Sometimes all you can do is just focus on deep, cleansing breaths. Other times, you might need to schedule prayer or meditation. Long walks in nature help some partners stay present, remain grounded, and maintain perspective.  

2. Pen Your Pain and Progress in a Journal

Do you experience a  disproportionate swell of anger, hurt, or shame that accompanies an insecure moment or negative interaction? When you’re triggered and emotions are roiling, you may not be focused on journaling your thoughts. However, consider developing this discipline as a means of relieving some of the emotional pressure inside. If you can only write down a few key things that clue you into what you are thinking and feeling when you’re triggered, it still helps. 

Journaling is an effective, enlightening tool to help understand yourself, thought patterns, and make connections. Additionally, if you seek therapy, this journal can help you and your counselor clue into your needs and goals as well. Try to be honest and freely, penning your thoughts and emotion without self-censorship.

3. Pay Attention & Learn to Predict Triggers

There will be times when infidelity triggers sneak up on you. Pay attention to what triggers intrusive thoughts and flashbacks. It’s okay to distract or remove yourself at the moment but log the circumstances mentally or in a journal. As you start to heal, you’ll start developing coping methods to help you face your anxiety. 

This needn’t be a fast process, just a consistent one. Working with a therapist is often helpful to help you chart and predict triggering situations. Also, as you productively challenge and manage the negative thoughts, people, places, memories, etc, your confidence in a brighter future will grow. 

4. Be A Loving Friend to Yourself

Self-love is something to consider when you long for emotional relief and want to know how to get past infidelity triggers. Simply put, it’s okay to slow down and speak kindly to your wounded inner-self. You don’t have to “get over this,” “put on a happy face,” or rush to forgive your partner before real healing takes place. 

Sometimes dealing with triggers comes down to being rested enough, nourished enough, and physically fit enough to field them when they come. Take care of yourself so that your well won’t run dry when you and your partner try to pour new life into your relationship. 

5. Choose Your Confidantes Carefully

The period after an affair is already difficult. You definitely need support, but be careful to choose listeners and advisors who will support your decisions and not impose their own. 

It is only natural to want to vent or share with others. Certainly, it is wise to seek out those who can come alongside you. However, deciding to stay with your partner might be challenging for certain loved ones to understand. Trying to convince them or constantly allowing them to play devil’s advocate can be triggering.

Instead, forgo undue drama by talking to those who are nonjudgemental, willingly share your goals, and/or experienced infidelity and empathize.

6. Seek Out Experienced, Compassionate Counseling 

If you are struggling with how to get past infidelity triggers intrusive thoughts, you are normal. You do deserve to feel better. You are also honorable and strong to seek professional help. 

You don’t have to wait any longer to start healing. A well-trained therapist or counselor can help you process your emotions and connect with yourself and your partner in healthy ways. Also, your therapist will also provide you and your partner a safe environment to acknowledge, address, and honor your whole relationship without judgment. 

You’ll likely find relief just knowing that there is a roadmap back to each other and valuable tools to keep triggers concerning the past in check.

Relationship Counseling NYC: Take Time to Heal Completely 

Infidelity recovery is beneficial to improved self-awareness, self-acceptance, and communication. Determining how your traumatic experience is contributing to reactivity and your ability to move on is an important part of resolving the trauma in your mind and body. 

The Relationship Suite

Finally, if you have difficulty navigating infidelity in your relationship and want to learn more about how to have a healthy connection, please  Contact Us at The Relationship Suite. We help you identify and work through whatever is getting in the way of finding peace, comfort, and lasting forgiveness.

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in relationship counseling. We provide individual and couples therapy. To find out more about Relationship Counseling NYC CLICK HERE.

Contact Us HERE for a complimentary consultation.

how to have healthy connection, please  Contact Us at The Relationship Suite. We will help you identify and work through whatever is getting in the way of finding peace, comfort, and lasting forgiveness.

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in relationship counseling. We provide individual and couples therapy. To find out more about Relationship Counseling NYC CLICK HERE.

Contact Us HERE for a complimentary consultation.