The holiday season can be a time of joy and togetherness, but it can also be a time of stress, conflict and family tension. If you want this holiday season to be more relaxing and stress-free, here are 9 tips to overcome challenges during the holidays in your relationship.
Keep your expectations realistic
We tend to over-idealize the holidays which can lead to disappointment. Communicate your expectations with your partner so they are aware of your needs. If you have a gift in mind, let your partner know what you want instead of possibly ending up disappointed.
Always approach family events as a team
Make sure you are putting your own family first. Dealing with In-laws can be stressful. Your partner needs to know that you are committed to them first and they are the priority.
Talk to your partner about finances and create a budget together
Do your best to not allow finances to be a stressor during this time. Discuss how much you want to spend on each other and family, so you are both on the same page.
Setting boundaries to avoid arguments
Having a plan in place to avoid conflict is always helpful. Agree to take a time out allowing you both to cool off before conversations escalate into arguments. Schedule a time to continue the discussion when you are both feeling calm and ready.
Create new traditions
As we change and grow, traditions and rituals can change as well. Be open to creating new traditions that better suit your lifestyle today instead of one from your childhood. Doing this with your partner with remind them how important they are to you and will strengthen your relationship.
Learn to assert your needs and say “no”
Some of us have a hard time saying no so we don’t upset others. Do not agree to something that you aren’t going to be happy with. This will end up upsetting you and can easily put stress on your relationship. It’s okay to say no when you’re asked to do more than you can. Keep in mind that this is your holiday, too!
Acknowledge your feelings
The holidays tend to trigger grief reactions of loved ones that we lost. It’s important to be aware of your reactions. Make sure you grieve or help your partner work through their grief reactions. Try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself or your partner to be happy and enjoy the holidays if they don’t feel like it.
Slow down and practice self-care
Carve out at least 15 minutes to unwind and relax each day-do something you enjoy and take care of yourself. Make a list if you have too. Try to prevent doing too much and stressing yourself out. If you find yourself getting overwhelmed, ask for help as you do not need to do this alone.
Plan Date Nights
Try to carve out time together and do things you both enjoy. Make sure you and your partner are sustaining the romance and intimacy in your relationship. Use this time to enjoy the romance of the holiday season.
To learn more about our Couples and Marriage counseling services, click here.
If you’re struggling in your relationship, call 917-273-8836 or contact us for a complimentary consultation to learn more about couples and marriage counseling in NYC and how we can help you.
