What comes to mind when you hear the term “separation anxiety”?

Like many of us, childhood memories of the first day of school or that first summer at sleep-away camp arise. Yet, the fear of being away from loved ones isn’t always a childhood struggle. Many adult partners in loving relationships are experiencing separation anxiety right now too.

Separation anxiety, in short, is feeling disproportionately distressed about time away from a loved one. It is usually marked by worry, dread, or apprehension when your partner leaves your physical presence or is preparing to go away.

Do you feel uneasy and upset when you think of spending much time away from the one you love? Are you unable to relax when your partner travels or simply does the usual errands we all do daily? Or has all the turmoil in the headlines convinced you that disaster awaits every time your partner walks out the door?

Separation anxiety can be very disruptive if it remains unaddressed. Just know that you aren’t alone. Here’s what might be going on and how to cope.

Anxiety Treatment NYC: What is Separation Anxiety in Adult Relationships?

First, understand that saying goodbye, spending time away, and shifting focus from the relationship can be tough on any loving connection. It is perfectly natural to feel some level of disconnection or loneliness. This is particularly true after the long periods of togetherness and interaction we all experienced during the pandemic.

So, with that in mind, how do you know if you’re experiencing separation anxiety now? Consider the following key signs:

Feeling worried or out of control when your partner is not around
Fears your significant other will be harmed or injured when they’re away
You feel compelled to cling or physically be with them when they’re with you
You fear the relationship is ending when you aren’t with your partner
Your sleep is routinely disrupted
You are experiencing tension-related aches and pains
Digestive trouble is recurring
Symptoms are persistent and overwhelming

Anxiety Treatment NYC: Why Do You Feel So Anxious About Being Apart?

It’s no secret that we humans long to belong. That is especially true when it comes to committed relationships. We want to be connected, contribute to the relationship, and feel appreciated. We enjoy creating a cocoon of togetherness and specialness that spells safety, acceptance, and security. These things are fundamental to our happiness together.

However, well-balanced, secure couples also recognize that their connection is not the only important thing between them. Thus, it’s crucial to consider the reasons behind your separation anxiety.

Of course, some emotional stress is common. However, it may be worth exploring if there is more to your separation anxiety. In other words, is there anything that deserves a more serious look? Working with a therapist is an excellent way to examine yourself. You may find that unresolved grief or trauma are complicating your current relationship.

Anxiety Treatment NYC: How Can You Cope and Still Stay Close?

As you face separation anxiety, you’ll likely recognize that time apart is a natural part of mutual growth and personal happiness. You can also begin to relax and release some of the tension separation anxiety caused. How?

Journal. Awareness is always good. Identify and explore your anxious emotions, reactions, and triggers on paper. Write down what frightens you and how long those feelings last. Take some time too, to read over your observances. Then, consider sharing them with a therapist. This to helps you make some connections and glean more insight.
Communicate clearly, compassionately, and often. Cut down on misunderstanding and misinterpretation. There is everything to be gained by sharing your feelings and actively listening to each other. Discuss how important you are to each other while maintaining the mutual need for individual pursuit and time apart.
Be intentional during your separation. Try not to moon about or count the minutes until you’re together again. There is very likely something you’ve longed to do. Your time apart is valuable time. Get busy doing your own thing. You’ll feel accomplished and have more to share when you’re together again.
Practice loving yourself. Time to physically and emotionally care for yourself is vital and too often pushed aside. Self-care and affirming self-talk are great uses of time on your own. Not only will you feel a growing sense of empowerment and self-acceptance but you’ll feel more confident and capable in the relationship as well.

Anxiety Treatment NYC: Support is Essential

The primary goal here? For you and your partner to cultivate a sense of freedom ( as opposed to fear) in your relationship. Periods of healthy separation can actually honor your connection. Time away needn’t feel threatening. Instead, it can enhance your time together, infusing it with fresh interests and novel experiences to share.

Separation anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of. Nor is the professional treatment that can help resolve your fears. Now is the time to gauge the intensity of your anxiety. Develop tools to put your worry into perspective. You may have concerns that can be easily resolved or those that require additional support. Regardless, you and your partner deserve relief.

Anxiety counseling can help you investigate the thought patterns, emotions, and behaviors getting in your way. Let us help. Please read more about our Anxiety Treatment counseling services.

The Relationship Suite

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in individual and couples counseling. Since Covid, we have bene working with couples via Online Counseling in New York, New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Westchester, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, Montauk. To schedule a complimentary consultation, click HERE.

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