Couples Counseling NYC: Finding the Motivation for Better Communication

Imagine your partner saying, “Can we talk?” What happens in your head?

Do you perk up and get curious the way you did when you first came together? Or do you wilt at the thought of trying to hear and be heard?

If you are like many couples struggling to keep their relationships strong, you may be facing a lack of communication motivation. You may have even fallen into a pattern of silence and avoidance that threatens your connection and affection for each other.

So, what do you do when you feel all talked out and meaningful communication seems like too much work?

You seek help from someone who can help you turn things around.

Couples counseling is a way to jumpstart your communication. Soon, you may find that the therapy process helps motivate the kind of respectful, responsive interactions you and your partner are missing.

Couples Counseling NYC: Dial Back Communication Frustration

Take a step back and breathe. Consider that communicating with your partner might not be a lost cause just yet. It just may be that your relationship needs some compassionate, knowledgeable guidance.

If your will to communicate has gone stale, your time with a therapist is the chance to offer each other something fresh. By suspending your assumptions, and embracing the possibility of solutions outside yourselves, you instill a bit of hope into your situation.

Your couples counselor can stoke hope and temper feelings of helplessness and discouragement early on in your counseling sessions by

Slowing down reactivity between you and helping you focus on your individual needs
Encouraging you to practice mindful, nonjudgmental acceptance of each other and your emotions. You start to see the unhelpful patterns that come between you.
Guiding you toward accepting responsibility for your part in your communication crisis.

Then, you can start to get to the heart of what’s coming between you.

Couples Counseling NYC: Do Some Communication Excavation

A counselor can help you answer the question. “What’s really going on?” You may feel more motivated to communicate if you both understand what’s at the heart of your disconnect. Furthermore, therapy can help you explore how and why empathy and understanding are routinely drained from your communication.

Why is digging for those answers important? Because feeling for each other instead of making assumptions about each other makes all the difference in your perceptions. You are much less likely to feel helpless and unmotivated to reach out if you can see your partner’s need beneath their reactivity or withdrawal.

A safe, proactive counselor can help revive empathy and motivation for improved communication by focusing on these common issues:

disappointment, rejection, and resentment
physical and sexual disconnect
unresolved problems and misunderstanding
Childhood obstacles and perceptions
Outside stressors and over-commitment

Understanding your unmet needs fosters a desire to connect, motivating healthy dialogue.

Couples Counseling NYC: Reinforce Communication Skills Application

Working with a skilled and accepting counselor affords you and your partner skills that you will retain and use for the remainder of your relationship. Where you might otherwise find it difficult to sustain communication motivation, you are supported in making change. Understanding and applying the following skills encourages growth and boosts emotional energy.

Coping skills. Couples counseling teaches you how to manage differences in personality, perception, and comfort level. Capably accepting and dealing with each other’s unique needs and wants daily is invaluable.
Positive interventions. Couples counseling teaches partners to replace negative conflict patterns with positive interactions. You are better able to repair past hurts, increase closeness, and bolster intimacy.
Acceptance and validation. Couples counseling also helps you retain a clearer understanding of your triggers. You practice listening without judgment and learn to openly validate each other. Thus, supporting a more conscious, empathetic connection.

Couples Counseling NYC: Don’t Wait to Communicate

It can be tempting to label your relationship as unworkable or unsatisfying when communication goes in circles or nowhere at all. However, the aim of your counseling sessions is to move beyond repetitive conflict, silent treatment, or avoidance. You can reach out for support now, don’t suffer disconnect any longer. Discover whether there are a few key shifts that could motivate a strong desire to share your inner lives again.

The Relationship Suite

If you want to learn more about having a healthier connection, please Contact Us at The Relationship Suite. We can help you identify and work through whatever is getting in the way of finding confidence, comfort, and deeper connection.

We’re a group of skilled therapists specializing in relationship counseling. We provide individual and couples therapy. To find out more about Relationship Counseling NYC CLICK HERE.

Since Covid, we have been working with couples via Online Counseling in New York, and New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Westchester, Long Island, Port Washington, Roslyn, Manhasset, South Hampton, East Hampton, and Montauk. To schedule a complimentary consultation, click HERE.

We also provide Virtual Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, and Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.