How to Deal with Debt in a Relationship

I am Rachel Moheban-Wachtel, LCSW marriage counselor, and welcome to The Relationship Suite, the place to learn how to create healthy relationships.

I just started dating a man about 6 months ago and everything is going great. However; I just found out some information about his financial situation that’s made me uneasy. He recently asked to borrow money from me and I learned he’s in quite a bit of debt. I am really happy in all other parts of my relationship but this is bothering me. Can you give me Relationship advice on this issue.

Samantha, it’s great that this money issue has come up now as financial issues can sabotage a relationship if they are not confronted early on.

I would be very careful about loaning him money as you are not committed yet and need to protect yourself.

I suggest sitting your partner down and asking the following questions:

• The reasons why he is in debt?
• Is he fully aware of the problem? Is this a pattern in his life?
• What is he doing to get himself out of debt?

It’s essential to fully understand his relationship to money. Study how he handles and spends money.

Once you know the true nature of his relationship to money you can make better decision for yourself and the relationship.

Thank you, Samantha for sending in your question.

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