While having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) can cause problems at work or school, it can become particularly damaging when it comes to your relationship. If you or your partner have ADHD, issues with inattention, problems with emotional regulation, forgetfulness and time management can cause feelings of anger, frustration or resentment to grow.
If many of these apply you may benefit from couples counseling.
1. Your partner has problems paying attention
ADHD is a disorder of having too much attention, to the point where regulating or focusing that attention is difficult. What this means is that for someone with ADHD it is difficult to not focus on things or thoughts as they start to come into their mind. This causes the task or thing they should be focusing on to go on the back burner. Because of this, it is difficult to stay focused on one thing without distractions taking over. Signs of inattention in your partner may appear as missing details, becoming distracted easily, trouble focusing on the task at hand, daydreaming or becoming confused easily.
2. Your partner is forgetful
It is human to forget sometimes occasionally, but for people with ADHD forgetfulness occurs much more often. If your partner suffers from ADHD you may notice they regularly forget important dates, forget to pay bills, or forget where they have placed something. This occurs in people with ADHD because both their working memory is impaired and they have problems with inattention. This makes it very easy to forget important and not so important things.
3. Your partner has problems controlling their emotions
Trouble managing emotions is a common ADHD symptom and more than half of people with ADHD have trouble regulating their emotions. Problems with impulse control can make it easy for someone with ADHD to become carried away by what they are feeling, and act on it without considering how it will affect other people or themselves. This can create struggles for someone with ADHD like behaving unpredictably, losing sight of other people’s perspective, saying things that they later regret, and showing intense anger. All of these symptoms can wreak havoc on a relationship.
4. Your partner has trouble with time management
People with ADHD often have trouble with time management including time perception. Things may feel like they take a shorter time than they actually do. This can manifest in waiting until the last minute to get something done, arriving late to engagements, or paying bills late. Also because things feel like they can be done in a shorter amount of time people with ADHD often find themselves over committing. Over committing and problems with time perception can make it very difficult to be on time for responsibilities.
5. Your partner is impulsive
Impulsivity refers to acting without thinking first. Impulsivity can be the effect of being distracted, hyperactivity and having poor emotional regulation. Your partner’s impulsivity may be experienced as being impatient with waiting their turn or in line, blurting out answers before questions have been completed or interrupting others. In addition, your partner may engage in risk activities or behavior without thinking about the consequences.
If you or your partner suffer from ADHD and are having problems in your relationship, the counselors at The Relationship Suite are here to help. Contact us for a free consultation to learn how we can help.
The Relationship Suite
We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in couples/marriage therapy. We provide individual and couples therapy in New York, New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, Montauk. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
We also provide Online Couples Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
