Do you or your partner watch porn? If so, you’re among the many people in the country who do.
The pornography industry is one of the biggest in the country generating $13 billion each year. Many people – both men and women – watch it. One study found that the vast majority of men watch porn at some point in their life. About 30% of porn viewers are women.
Although the porn industry is highly popular, it brings up a difficult question- is watching porn considered cheating?”
The answer depends on how you define infidelity.
Some might feel that if they use porn to replace being intimate with their partner this could be considered cheating. Or, others worry that their partner will get caught up in the fantasy world of porn, making it harder to get excited when it’s time to be intimate.
On the other hand, others may not be concerned about their partner watching porn. Instead, they might find that the fantasy world of porn inspires and may also satisfy their partner particularly, if they have a stronger sex drive.
In some cases, porn can help relationships by inspiring sexual experimentation and discussion. Some say that they felt watching porn is not necessarily about lusting over the people but using it to get excited. They compare this to the way women use romance novels to get excited.
“In 2017, a Gallup poll found that 43 percent of Americans found watching porn to be morally acceptable — up from 36 percent in 2016. And people aren’t just watching these sexy flicks alone, either: xHamster, a porn site, found that 20 percent of its viewers were watching porn with a partner in 2017.
If you and your partner have a satisfying sex life and are happy in your relationship, watching porn now and then probably isn’t a concern. However, if you’re struggling with intimacy and your partner is watching porn more often than you’re being intimate, you need to address this issue with your partner.
It really depends on how you and your partner feel and exploring together what’s comfortable and best for your relationship.
Important Questions to Consider
These are revealing questions that can help you gauge whether porn is a problem in your relationship or not.
- How do you feel about your relationship?
- Are you and your partner satisfied with your sex life?
- Is your partner turning outside of your relationship to meet a need that should be met within the relationship?
- Has your partner become dependent on porn or does s/he watch it more often than you two are intimate?
- Do you trust your partner?
Communicating With Your Partner
It’s important to have conversations about and being honest about your intentions behind watching porn. You want to be as non-judgmental as possible. Having these difficult talks about watching porn in your relationship is never easy. But it’s necessary to consider creating some ground rules that the both of you can agree to. If however, the porn-watching habit to continues after having a discussion with an agreed-upon resolution to stop, that’s when trust is put at risk.
If you feel this is an issue in your relationship, or are feeling shame or having trouble communicating with your partner about these related issues, contact us at the Relationship Suite.
The Relationship Suite
We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in couples/marriage therapy. We provide individual and couples therapy in New York, New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, Montauk. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
We also provide Online Couples Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
