Do You Feel Stuck Because You and Your Partner Are Having the Same Fights Over and Over Again?
- Do you feel that when things are good with your partner they are very good, but when they are bad they are very bad?
- Do you feel easily triggered by your partner because of resentment that has built up?
- Have romance and connection in your relationship been replaced with distance and frustration?
- Do you rarely talk to one another at all—at least not in any meaningful way?
- Has a betrayal of trust made you feel that you don’t even know your partner anymore?
Couples Therapy NJ | Marriage Counseling In New Jersey Can Help!
If you are struggling with relationship issues, attempting to connect with your partner may leave you feeling sad and lonely. As time goes on, you may feel more and more certain that things can’t continue this way—you cannot settle for a lifetime of tension and conflict.
Regardless of your specific ways of relating—and whether or not you’re completely aware of them—like all people, you have your unique relationship issues. And your partner has issues of their own. Sometimes, you both might be communicating from places of old hurt and pain rather than responding to what the other is actually saying. This can make maintaining a healthy adult relationship incredibly difficult.
Marriage counseling is also important if you have children. Children can be negatively affected by tension between two parents and can affect everyone in the household. Children can develop major issues if parents don’t seek help and address issues that stress the entire family unit.
If your marriage is suffering because of poor communication, infidelity, or abuse, or whether you are simply looking for tools to strengthen your relationship, couples therapy can help. We at The Relationship Suite in New Jersey help you work through issues including: second marriage, blended families, long-term relationships, mixed-race marriages and relationships, relationships with a large disparity in age, etc.
The Relationship Suite offers couples therapy and marriage counsleing in New Jersey and if you want to learn more contact our offices or keep reading to learn about how we serve our couples.
Couples Therapy in New Jersey Can Help You Rebuild Your Connection
Even the happiest couples experience stress and conflict, and it’s important to learn how to deal with these issues constructively as you continue to build a life together. The goal of marriage counseling is to identify and address any areas of conflict in your relationship and teach partners effective strategies for communicating and resolving issues. It’s important to seek marriage counseling as soon as you recognize you are feeling stuck and having issues in your relationship.
Couples counseling is a process where you and your partner learn how to resolve conflict, improve communication, and develop physical and emotional intimacy. Throughout this process, we help couples move past blaming each other so they can learn their triggers and identify underlying emotions. Couples work on strengthening the relationship by developing empathy and deepening their understanding and connection to each other. We teach our couples communication skills so they can learn how to assert and express feelings and manage expectations. Couples work on strengthening the relationship by developing empathy and deepening their understanding and connection to each other.
Getting Started and What to Expect From Couples Therapy
During the first sessions the therapist will go over the importance of confidentiality and the cancellation policy and make sure you are comfortable with the guidelines and policies. You and the couple’s counselor’s will discuss the hours of operations and if you and your partner can only meet in the evening or weekends make sure they are available during these times.
Your first few sessions will be spent talking about what brought you to marriage counseling in the first place. Honesty and being direct with your partner and marriage counselor is important as you want to grow and make changes with your spouse. Many couples like to get feedback and have a marriage therapist who is actively listening and engaged. Talk about goals and make sure your marriage counselor is experienced and has training in working with couples.
Couple sessions may include meeting with you and your partner individually as well, especially at the beginning of treatment. These one-on-on sessions allow you to share things with your counselor that you might have been reluctant to share in couples therapy. This gives the couples counselor the chance to get to know you better individually and help you identify and work on issues and build on your strengths.
Will the Couples Counselor Take Sides
Couples may be concerned that the therapist may take sides. It’s very important that you and your partner feel comfortable and that the therapist provides a safe non-judgmental space. A marriage counselor has to be neutral and both you and your partner have to feel they are completely objective. Taking sides can hurt the relationship. So, rather than assign blame, the marriage counselor needs to encourage honesty, empathy, communication and balance.
How Long Will Couples Therapy Take
People are also often curious about the frequency of counseling of couples counseling and typically how long couples usually stay in counseling. If want to meet with your couple’s counselor twice a month and only contract for 6-8 sessions, you want to make sure your couple’s counselor is comfortable with this frequency and short-term model.
At The Relationship Suite in New Jersey, we don’t have rules about frequency for counseling however, we have found that once a week in the beginning is most effective for our couples. We believe it’s important to have continuity and momentum in the start of treatment. When our couples start feeling positive shifts in their relationship, they can spread it out to twice a month to continue growing and maintaining new positive dynamics.
There’s no quick fix when dealing with human emotions. It usually takes about three months until you start to feel positive shifts in your relationship. The process of couple’s therapy in and of itself is healing.
Types of Marriage Counseling
We have helped hundreds of couples in New Jersey make significant changes, develop a stronger relationship foundation and re-establish connection. In a non-judgmental and safe place, you and your partner can work through negative dynamics and develop greater empathy for one another.
We have extensive experience and training in various modalities such as: Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT,) Imago Relationship Therapy, and The Gottman Method. These approaches are highly effective for helping couples deepen their connection. In our work together, we will guide you to work through unresolved conflict in a respectful, productive way.
Our couple’s counselors in New Jersey use these modalities and approaches in couples therapy/marriage counseling.
Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT,) Imago Relationship Therapy, and The Gottman Method are researched bases modalities and tend to yield good results.
Emotionally Focused Therapy, otherwise known as EFT, is a therapeutic approach specifically focused on relationships, developing deeper connections, and acceptance. Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) helps to develop emotional awareness, empathy and helps to create a more secure attachment and bond.
Imago Relationship Therapy is a type of relationship therapy that allows couples to strengthen their connection and heal deep wounds. By helping partners to be more present and empathetic in their conversations with one another, Imago Therapy gives couples an opportunity to navigate misunderstanding, reduce conflict, and re-establish trust.
The Gottman Method is based on many years of research on couples. The Gottman Method addresses a couple’s friendship and how they manage conflicts. You and your marriage counselor work on developing healthier communication patterns; increase intimacy, respect, and affection and create a heightened sense of empathy and understanding for the couple.
You may have questions or concerns…
We don’t really have major issues but still feel we need to strengthen our relationship.
Couples Therapy is a venue where you and your partner can find and practice new ways to communicate and learn new tools to help you both feel heard when discussing sensitive issues. As you and your partner learn to be both more assertive and more vulnerable with one another, you can start to develop practical solutions and a new sense of closeness. You and your partner will learn ways to prevent conflict and issues from escalating. This can help to ensure that you and your partner have a strong, healthy relationship, giving you a better chance for a stable and satisfying relationship.
What if my partner doesn’t want to come to Couples Therapy
It is not uncommon for one partner to be uninterested in couples counseling. But counseling can be effective even if only one partner participates. As you work on your own issues and reactions in individual sessions, the changes you make can positively impact the relationship. The change and growth that results from therapy can help you present your best self to your partner, which can help move the relationship forward. Often, when one person in the relationship shifts their tone and approach to interactions in the relationship, the overall tone of the relationship can change as well. This can also inspire and encourage the other partner to be interested in making changes, too.
What If I am Ambivalent About My Relationship
Couples counseling is a good venue to start to see your partner more objectively and see how the relationship can develop and move forward. Sometimes couples realize through the process that the relationship isn’t right. As you discuss your deepest wants and needs, you might discover that it’s time to go your separate ways. Marriage counseling can help you make this decision in a thoughtful, compassionate way. You can end your relationship amicably, which is valuable for every couple, but especially those with children. You can learn ways to lessen the negative impact on other members of the family and co-parent and communicate in healthier ways.
Regardless of whether you and your partner decide to stay in the relationship, each partner can experience the benefits of counseling and apply the lessons learned to their own lives and future relationships.
Couples Therapy Requires Hard Work and Commitment
Going to marriage counseling sessions can be intimidating at first if you don’t know what to expect. Marriages are hard work and marriage counseling requires effort, time and commitment. You don’t have to stay stuck in these frustrating, hurtful patterns. By working with a skilled couples therapist | marriage counselor in NJ, you can find healing and lasting intimacy.
Read more about Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling in New Jersey at The Relationship Suite
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Visit Our Virtual New Jersey Practice For Relationship Therapy and Marriage Counseling
If you’re struggling in your relationship, call 917-273-8836 or contact us in New Jersey for a complimentary consultation to learn more about couple’s therapy and marriage counseling and how we can help you.
We are currently providing Online/Virtual Video Counseling to our clients in New Jersey with HIPAA based platforms.
If you aren’t ready to get started with counseling you can check out our Online Couples Tool kit just so you can begin the process of learning strategies on how to communicate more effectively and deepen intimacy in your relationship. You can find more information about the Online Tool Kit HERE.
