Common ground. More and more it seems to be less common among us.

Why? Politics has played a pivotal role in separating us and stirring up conflict in recent years. The pandemic has only exacerbated the divide. Worse, it often feels like that lack of unity extends itself to our homes and significant relationships.

Are differing political views coming between you and your partner? It’s okay to admit it. You’re far from alone.

Still, you don’t want resentment and contempt to result from either of your strongly held views. To keep your union strong and maintain some perspective, it’s important to keep calm and work hard to find that common ground. Your relationship is worth it.

So, to put politics in its place, try the following strategies.

1. Listen Before You Do Anything Else

Actively listening is the best tool available for claiming common ground. It denotes respect and a desire to connect. Interruption, smirking, head-shaking, etc says you can’t be bothered to hear your partner out.

You love your partner, your political leanings aren’t reason enough to dismiss or silence each other. Instead, accept that changing your partner’s perspective isn’t the goal (talking over them wouldn’t do that anyway). It’s more important to listen, reflect what you hear, and learn where your partner is coming from.

2. Acknowledge that You’re Both Mature Enough to Disagree

Politics are very personal. If you both have heels dug in, your perspectives matter a great deal to you both. What do partners do for each other when they feel that strongly? They affirm and honor each other. Neither of you has to win the political contest. You only need to slow down, remember that you appreciate your differences, and stop reacting t0 each other’s points of view.

You’re better served by establishing boundaries for such political passionate conversations. It’s okay to agree to disagree or avoid certain topics altogether.

3. Try Not To Trigger Each Other’s Political Buttons

Take responsibility for your own behavior during political conversations with your partner. Do you say things to aggravate or provoke. Why? There’s a difference between an occasional spirited debate and incendiary commentary. Questions your own motives in this case, perhaps some other underlying relationship issue is really at play.

Practice acceptance and peace in your relationship. Intentionally offending each other can very easily lead to disrespect and communication breakdown over time.

4. Focus On More Relevant Aspects of Your Shared Life

Politics has plagued our lives in such away that it may have overshadowed much more important personal matters. While social justice, economic inflation, and climate change have their time and place, focus instead on your shared hopes and desires. Make plans, dream together and put politics aside. That’s where your happiness lies.

5. Build Mutual Understanding Through a Mutual Interest

Anyone can point out differences, as our current political climate clearly indicates. But coming together for the greater good requires more of us. Vulnerability, investment, compassion, and cooperation are the gifts of sharing a mutual interest or common cause. Be helpful, contribute your gifts and talents to others as a team. Doing good together will help strengthen your connection, whatever your politics.

6. Trade Political Barbs for Laughter and Loving Humor

Politics via Twitter and mainstream media can be negative. People can go after each other via social media in way the couldn’t in the days before the Internet. It may have made us a bit insensitive, even towards those we love most.

It’s vital that you and your partner shake this off and soften up with each other. Get comfortable and decide to make way for fun and real laughter. Choose to relax, lighten up, and be silly, novel, even steamy, on a regular basis. Those are the moments that will draw you close, not the latest political debate.

What Do You Do If Politics is Still Too Entrenched in Your Everyday Lives?

You call an objective third party with relationship expertise. There’s no shame in that. Sometimes it takes more time to get to the root of relationship issues, to really sift out compatibility issues, unresolved problems, and core needs. Couples counseling can make all the difference.

Let us help. Together, we can examine and improve communication so that political conflicts don’t lead to ongoing relationship dissatisfaction. Please read more about couples counseling and reach out for a consultation soon. Soon your the harmony in your relationship may be all the common ground you need.