Married couples and people in long-term relationships talk about communication often. Why? Because the inevitability of bumping heads and crossing verbal swords is real. Two people sharing a life don’t always share the same opinions. Yet, you don’t have to be married, or even seriously connected, to benefit from some clear guidance regarding how to have healthy conflict.

Want to talk politics? Got views on vaccination? Like to chat about climate change, or inflation? Well then you know that conflict happens. Even on a date.

Thus, conflict management for daters is a crucial skill-set. Fortunately, Relationship Counseling NYC can help with that. Why counseling? Because, if you spend a good amount of time connecting with people through dating, it’s helpful to know whether conflict is healthy or a deal breaker.

You might just need to ask yourself a few key questions like

Does conflict management have a role in my dating life?
How do daters best navigate tough conversations?
Is there a way to get better at communicating through dating conflict?

Regardless of your marital status, if you want lasting connections, honing the skills you need early in a relationship is beneficial and entirely possible.

Relationship Counseling NYC: How to Have Healthy Conflict While Dating

Avoid Extremes

Are you like many daters who believe that the right connection comes without conflict? If so, you may get drawn into the idea that topical avoidance or breaking things off when conflict occurs is the most appropriate response to conflicts early on. Yet, you may be missing an opportunity to practice healthy conflict management that could serve you now and later.

Consider that how you proceed when conflict happens needn’t be so black and white. There may be value in working through the discomfort to meet somewhere in between.

Of course, you and your dating partner may, indeed, find that your values are too different to continue. Or, you might retain an interesting relationship while learning how to calmly, and cooperatively navigate differing views. Either way, you’ve paved the way for more effective communication and learned important lessons for long-term communication later.

Get Adept at Grounding Yourself

Tempers flare. People get under each other’s collars. That’s okay. That’s how it goes in a relationship, short-term or long-term. How you regulate your responses is the real key.

When you are emotional or deeply invested in a topic, it’s important to notice your own internal responses. If you have the tools to slow down and cool down, conflict needn’t get out of hand or even ruin the date.

Pay attention to your body. Mindfully tune into the moment and stay present. Self-soothe with deep-breathing techniques. Take a time-out if you need to.

Knowing when to step back mentally and physically is a key part of managing conflict in the moment. This makes space for healthy communication later.

It’s Okay to Repair Rather than Resolve

As you and your date share opinions or ideas, you may realize that you have completely opposite views on a topic. If you find that good-natured debate falls into disparaging comments about each other’s perspectives, it can be emotionally jarring. Particularly, if you enjoy each other in other ways.

At that point, it may be helpful to practice preserving the connection without necessarily resolving your differences. Basically, communicate that you want to preserve the connection while retaining your right to agree to disagree. How?

Manage your approach to a topic. Gently broach topics with the understanding that you respect your dating partner’s right to their own opinion.
Establish a habit of using “I” statements when you share. This keeps your views personal and not criticisms of the other person.
Use body language that demonstrates a willingness to listen and respect what’s shared, regardless of whether you agree. Lean in, nod, and make appropriate eye contact.

Relationship Counseling NYC: Embrace The Chance to Look Deeper

Is your dating life marked by a pattern of conflict? Sometimes automatic reactions and cycles of negative interaction can inform you. Often, repetitive conflicts are related to past trauma, self-esteem issues, or unresolved emotions, all of which have little to do with your current date.

An experienced therapist can help you learn how to have healthy conflict. Counseling can help improve self-awareness and self-acceptance. Determining how your emotions play into your responses and desire for connection can be valuable information as you date.

In time, you understand yourself better and overcome relationship-limiting behavior, increasing the possibility of your being a more compassionate, responsive communicator. Who could resist that?

If you are having difficulty navigating relationships and want to learn more about how to have healthy conflict, please Contact Us at The Relationship Suite. We will help you identify and work through whatever is getting in the way of finding lasting love.

The Relationship Suite

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in relationship counseling. We provide individual and couples therapy. To find out more about Relationship Counseling NYC CLICK HERE.