If you drive, you likely know what it’s like to change lanes. At times, you might even do so without really checking your mirrors or actually glancing over your shoulder. Though you know this flies in the face of your driver’s ed training, you might find yourself dismissing the blind spot, taking for granted that you can slip by anyway.
Why do you take that chance? Why avoid the possibility of harm to you or someone else? Because you’re like many of us who get used to cruising along. It’s tempting to forget the balance of factors that keep us safe and forward moving.
After all, you probably think you’re experienced enough to get where you’re going. (Obviously, the other guy will make room.) You probably believe you’re moving quickly enough to slide right on through. (Clearly, you don’t mean any harm.) You might even believe, despite your obstructed view, that you can still operate with enough clarity to reach your desired destination. (Sound familiar?)
Driving safely isn’t about good intentions. It’s about awareness and good decisions, neither of which are realized if you ignore your blind spots and press forward with just crossed fingers and impulsive behavior as your guides.
Relationships are much the same.
The liberties taken and assumptions made on the dating journey are often linked to emotional blind spots. Your internal and relationship blind spots require caution and special attention. Avoiding them can lead you to confusion and heartbreak as you swerve in and out of love and loss.
To travel courteously and productively with someone else, it’s wise to follow some basic ground rules, routinely check in with the partner traveling alongside you, and carefully consider any obstacles that might be getting in your way.
Relationship Counseling NYC: Are These Common Blind Spots Compromising Your Connections?
Everyone has blind spots. Identifying and understanding your own is key to improving your relationships. What are relationship blind spots exactly? How are they impacting your dating life and close connections negatively?
In a nutshell, relationship blind spots are part of how we protect our egos. They are the unconscious defenses (thus, blind spots) we use to separate ourselves from what we perceive to be uncomfortable, unacceptable, or uncertain.
Commonly relationship blindspots manifest as thoughts and comments like, “I don’t know why this keeps happening to me!” or, “All the people I date are jerks.” A cycle of denial, blame/projection, or a tendency to fall in love too quickly can signal that a relationship blind spot is afoot and key emotions are being avoided.
As a result, your defense mechanisms can cause you to lose out on the vulnerability and/or authenticity that creates deeper connection and intimacy.
Relationship Counseling NYC: How to Stop Avoiding and Start Being More Aware
Notice
Pay attention to your relationship moods and mental state. What feelings seem to dominate the connection when you’ve dated someone for a while? Do you feel stuck or trapped? Are you prone to blame or anger?
This isn’t something to be ashamed of but to recognize and understand. Take time to journal and even discuss with a relationship counselor when and how you feel triggered. Uncovering the emotions linked to your blind spots helps dissolve the denial, distance, and premature dismissal that may be occurring in your romantic or social life.
Pay Attention to Your Past
If you find you are constantly susceptible to inappropriate or harmful partners, look closely at your earliest relationships. Unresolved or unmet needs in your past may be propelling you into poor choices, reactivity, and toxic connections. To keep emotional blindspots from repeating, it’s important to interrupt them with less avoidance and more acceptance and productive attention.
Ask for Input
Often those closest to us have a better sense of our blind spots and defense mechanisms. Ask trusted loved ones to tell you when they see “blind spot behavior”. Try to remain open and accepting of their perspectives. Treat their feedback as a valuable learning tool for reflection and self-examination. Journal about what you heard and weigh them against your growing understanding of yourself. Don’t be afraid to share such feedback with a counselor too.
Appreciate
Do you tend to distance yourself or project on to others? Practicing gratitude helps shift your emotional state and disrupts negativity. A few moments of thankful appreciation can reduce the automatic desire to magnify problems and slow down unhelpful thinking.
Be Accountable
To enjoy fruitful connections, start actively facing your blind spots. Self-awareness and feedback provide a good start for checking in with your emotions routinely rather than practicing continued avoidance. Potential partners and loved ones will likely respond to honest attempts to share and be vulnerable. Of course, this isn’t always easy with out guidance.
Relationship Counseling NYC: Improve Self-knowledge & Your Social Life with a Compassionate Counselor
A blind spot blocks your view. The strong relationship you want is built on clarity and closeness. You can see yourself and your potential partners more clearly by spending time with a qualified counselor. This help keeps the process of change forward-moving and positive. Assessing and improving your personal awareness, judgment, and perspective can provide the relief and hope for the connection you’ve longed for.
The Relationship Suite
Relationship counseling can make dating much more productive by working with you to clear up your personal and relationship blind spots. With support, we can uncover any relationship obstacles and discover what you want from yourself and your future partner.
Additionally, if you have other difficulties navigating dating and relationships and want to learn more about how to have a healthy connection, please Contact Us at The Relationship Suite. We help you identify and work through whatever is getting in the way of finding peace, comfort, and lasting forgiveness.
We’re a group of skilled therapists specializing in relationship counseling. We provide individual and couples therapy. To find out more about Relationship Counseling NYC CLICK HERE.
Since Covid, we have been working with couples via Online Counseling in New York, New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Westchester, Long Island, South Hampton, East Hampton, Montauk. To schedule a complimentary consultation, click HERE.
We also provide Virtual Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE
Contact Us HERE for a complimentary consultation.
