Relationship Counseling NYC: Still Dating? What to Consider If You Fear You Are Too Old for Love 

  • Do you worry that you are aging out of love and romance? 
  • Are you anxious that healthy, emotionally available partners anywhere close to your age are constantly being snatched off the market as the years fly by?
  • Are you frustrated with your dating prospects, wondering if the life you built would successfully mesh with anyone at this point anyway?

Time waits for no one, but lasting love, unfortunately, seems to drag its feet. So, you are not alone if you’re getting older and feeling less and less optimistic about your romantic odds. 

First, give yourself a break. Your concerns are valid and deserving of attention. Yet, consider too, that you may be growing relationship restless without all the facts. Could some new relationship tools be helpful in this phase of your life?

Before giving up on love altogether, take some time to assess what might be getting in your way.

Relationship Counseling NYC: Are Your Thoughts About Relationships Mature?

Explore your thoughts about love. Are they grown-up thoughts? In other words, have your views and ideals regarding romance, passion, and sex changed much since you were a teen or twenty-something? If not, don’t beat yourself up. Culturally and socially, there is a lot of emphasis on young love, infatuation, and whirlwind happily ever afters.

Yet, our national divorce rate hints that this may not be where to focus when you’re older. After all, you don’t want to waste precious years on unproductive adolescent-type connections. Worse, you don’t want your hope for love overridden by the disappointment and cynicism immature relationships can create. 

A more reflective and responsive may be what you need now. 

How? Test your relationship views. Pay attention to what no longer serves you. Challenge your thinking about love and partnership: 

  • Are you tempted to give up on love because you feel insecure or “past your prime”? What is your age-related self-talk?
  • Do you believe that your years-long dating/relationship history disqualifies you from love? Is there unresolved relationship trauma to address?
  • What assumptions and prejudices do you hold? Are you too rigid, judgemental, or suspicious of potential partners?
  •  What are your current relationship needs? Do you still want a long-term relationship or something else? 

Becoming aware of how you think about love can help interrupt the thought that you are too old and give you more mental space to consider what kind of love you want to pursue. That’s a more empowered and self-honoring place to start.

Relationship Counseling NYC: Have You Addressed Your Relationship Patterns?

What are relationship patterns? Essentially, those behaviors and ways of interacting that show up repeatedly with the people in your life are relationship patterns. These patterns aren’t necessarily bad but do deserve scrutiny as you age.

Patterns can emerge in romantic connections, friendships, and work associations. Thus, relationship counseling is a great help in pinpointing patterns that affect your ability to attract and attach to others. Often, older daters find that they’ve retained some rooted relationship patterns that push people away, contribute to unhelpful judgment, or even stoke conflict early in a connection. Recognizing how repetitive tendencies keep potential mates wary of you and fuel your inner narrative is vital.

So, is it that you are too old for love or that your old relationship patterns keep new people from ever really reaching a point of vulnerability and intimacy with you? Talking this through with a relationship counselor can help you take responsibility for your patterns and set goals for productive change.

Relationship Counseling NYC: Are You Ready for Relationship Support?

Time is not your enemy. You are not increasingly unloveable as time goes by. However, self-defeating thoughts and unhelpful habits aren’t unusual for people navigating the dating world. Over time, they can even become entrenched in your approach to relationships of all kinds.  

To see your age as more benefit than harm to your dating life, the support of an objective, compassionate relationship therapist can be invaluable. Consider working with a counselor who can help you move forward and fully enjoy the potential of a rich dating life and new relationships.

Please read more about our Relationship Counseling services. We are here to help.  

The Relationship Suite

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in individual and couples counseling. We work with couples both in person and  Online in New York, and New York City including Manhattan, Queens, Brooklyn, Bronx, Staten Island, Long Island, Port Washington, Manhasset, Roslyn, South Hampton, East Hampton, and Montauk. To schedule a complimentary consultation, click HERE.

We also provide Virtual Counseling in New Jersey, Hoboken, Jersey City, Princeton, Chatham, Morris, Westfield, Union, Bergen County, Colts Neck, and Tenafly. Schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.