We’re always told how important good communication is to make a relationship work, but what does this really mean?

On the surface, it seems straightforward and logical, right? You and your partner need to talk and express your feelings. You need to be open, direct and honest.

This however, is easier said than done! In addition to the topic at hand, add human emotion, different backgrounds/personalities and personal limitations into the mix. Now, many couples are left feeling conflicted and helpless.

Good communication does not usually come naturally in a long-term relationship. Both partners need to work on getting their communication momentum right to achieve a harmonious relationship.

Here are some communication tips to help you along the way:

  1. Listen– the importance of listening to each other cannot be stressed enough. How are couples supposed to fulfill each other’s needs if they aren’t heard in the first place? This type of listening however, is not simply hearing words,. It involves empathy, sensitivity and understanding the message that your partner is trying to convey. You can also repeat to your partner what you heard to ensure the correct message is being received.
  2. Act– once you have heard and understood what your partner is trying to say, act on it. If it’s something that involves a change in your relationship, or in a behavior that is bothering your partner, there is no better way to show that you care than by working on changing the issue. Actively ask your partner how you can act, and if the changes you’re making are effective.
  3. Appreciate– whenever you see your partner making an effort to listen to you, act on what you have communicated, and even to communicate well with you, don’t forget to say ‘thank-you’. Show appreciation for the effort that they are putting into your relationship. Wouldn’t you be happy if your partner did the same for you?

Remember The Golden Rule.  This rule reminds us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. The same rule applies to your positive and negative utterances to your partner. Before you say something—whether it is a compliment or a criticism, consider how those words would sound in your partner’s ears, mind, and heart.

Try these tips as a first step to improving the communication in your relationship. If you continue to have difficulty communicating with your partner, visit us at The Relationship Suite.

The Relationship Suite

We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in couple and marriage therapy. If you want to learn more about our Couples and Marriage therapy services CLICK HERE. To schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.