What Is My Trauma Response & What Do I Do About It?
Have you personally suffered something terrible or life-altering? Were you deeply affected by someone else’s tragic experience? If so, you may be very well aware of how trauma is impacting your life. You may feel stuck in the memories and internal upset as a result. Yet, you may not realize that your decision to get over it is actually an automatic trauma response and may not be the healthiest way to recover.
Or perhaps you just know that something traumatic happened in your past, something you can’t recall well or are afraid to explore. In that case, you may simply suspect that trauma changed you somehow and feel helpless to understand and effectively heal the damage.
What’s the best way to proceed?
First, know that you aren’t alone.
Regardless of your trauma experience, you likely want to be free of your trauma-related distress. That desire to be more emotionally empowered can be powerful motivation. That’s where you can begin your healing.
A trauma response is an involuntary action or coping mechanism. It simply helps you deal with a distressing person, memory, or event. It says nothing about your worth or value. Allow yourself to let go of any shame and congratulate yourself for recognizing your need to recover. Understanding your unique trauma response is a valuable part of self-knowledge and awareness.
PTSD Counseling NYC: What Is Your Trauma Response?
Generally, there are four primary types of trauma response: fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Often referred to as the “4 Fs”. These survival mechanisms are helpful in a short-term way, allowing you to react quickly and automatically to immediate or imminent threats. However, overactivation of your trauma response can occur when this heightened state of arousal happens in non-threatening situations. Continually revisiting and responding to the trauma this way can lead to declining physical and psychological and relational health over time.
Thus, identifying the way you react to trauma is vital as it can promote emotional healing that positively changes your life and improves your relationships.
Recognizing The Four Fs of Trauma Response
1. Fight
Do you feel the need to stand up for yourself no matter what? This trauma response is rooted in conflict as a means of self-preservation. This reaction is steeped in the belief that exerting power or control is crucial to securing safety and acceptance. This response may feel like a rush of adrenaline coupled with a desire to “get them before they get me.”
A “fight” trauma response might show up as:
- Escalating internal tension
- Crying or yelling
- Clenched fists and a desire to hit or punch
- Flexed/tight jaw, grinding teeth
- Intense, threatening voice and facial expression
- upset stomach/nausea
Unaddressed, an automatic and ongoing fight response can be damaging to your relationships. Unhealthy fight behavior can include bullying, perfectionistic demands, and entitlement. It’s important to seek help when this trauma response is repeatedly and inappropriately triggered.
A healthier fight response to trauma will help you set boundaries, exhibit strong leadership and protect yourself and loved ones at the appropriate times.
2. Flight
Do you isolate, dismiss, or withdraw when you feel triggered or threatened? This avoidant trauma response is rooted in a strong desire to put distance between yourself and the perceived threat or traumatic memory. You may physically get away from the threat or you may emotionally withdraw. Your reaction is likely tied to the belief that your security lies in what you do or don’t do. Therefore, you might physically retreat or retreat into focus on performance to secure escape, safety, and acceptance.
A “flight” trauma response might show up as:
- restlessness, tendency to fidget
- inability to relax
- worry and fear
- overthinking and constant activity
- micromanagement of others
Unchecked, an unhealthy “flight” trauma response can hinder genuine connection and personal health. Constantly remaining in a state of escape can lead to overwhelming fear and panic, persistent busyness and workaholic behavior, and/or stress-related health problems.
A healthy flight response is the goal. Ideally, you want to be able to accurately assess a threat so that you can appropriately disengage from harmful conversations, relationships, and danger without overreaction and ongoing withdrawal.
3. Freeze
Do you feel stuck or mentally “foggy” in response to a threat or trauma trigger? The freeze trauma response is often linked to the perception that there is “no way out” and that not moving forward or making decisions is safest.
Essentially, this is self-protection through dissociation. It occurs when the sympathetic nervous system is overwhelmed and impaired by stress. You then feel disconnected from your own body, unable to register and respond well to reality.
A “freeze” trauma response might show up as:
- lack of motivation
- brain fog, poor concentration
- isolation
- a stuck feeling in some part of your body
- feeling cold or numb
- sense of heaviness, dread
- decreased heart rate
Without support, an unhealthy freeze response can lead to long periods of isolation. This tendency to space out and resist making decisions can weigh heavily on your connections with others. You may have trouble trying new things or experience difficulty completing tasks that cause tension in your relationships at home and at work.
To better manage trauma, a healthy freeze response might incorporate attention and awareness through mindfulness practices or meditation.
4. Fawn
Are you a people-pleaser, afraid to say “no” or push back when you feel triggered, or trauma occurs? If placation is your go-to response, you likely believe that survival rests on the approval and permission of others. You may also find yourself relinquishing your rights, surrendering your desires, and leaving your own needs unmet to stay safe and feel loved.
A “fawn” trauma response might show up as:
- lack of identity, an inability to stand up for yourself
- unwillingness to share thoughts and feelings for fear of others’ perceptions
- over apologizing to others
- excessive flattery and attention to others
- very strong desire to fit in
- going to extremes to please and accommodate others
- neglecting your own needs and wants
- agreeing and aligning with others regardless of your personal beliefs
An unhealthy fawn response to trauma is a loss of yourself. In terms of your relationships, this is problematic because you also lose the ability to be authentic and set healthy boundaries. You may also be prone to relationships that are codependent and increasingly full of resentment as you feel taken advantage of.
A healthier fawn response effectively balances compassion for others with compromise and fairness.
So, now that you have a bit of insight into trauma responses, what next? What does it take to leave trauma behind, embrace life and relationships, and learn to trust and share openly?
PTSD Counseling NYC: What’s Next?
Facing trauma means accepting that recovery takes time. Still, you can heal thoroughly and effectively. Just remember that you don’t have to do it without help. Do your best to accept care from your partner, loved ones, and a trauma-informed therapist too. You deserve the time and attention.
The Relationship Suite
Committing to your own mental healthcare is an invaluable gift to your adult relationships and your wellbeing.
Are you ready to deal with your trauma responses productively and move forward? Please reach out, we’re a group of skilled therapists ready when you are. We have the experience to support trauma sufferers. Please read more about PTSD therapy and contact us for support soon. You can feel better and live well.
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If you’re struggling, call 917-273-8836 or Contact us for a complimentary consultation to learn more about counseling in NYC and how we can help you.
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