Meeting with your couple’s counselor therapist for the first time can be intimidating if you don’t know what to expect. Relationships are hard work and couples therapy requires effort, time and commitment.
It is important to find a couples therapist in NYC who has experience working with couples and training in this modality. Couples counseling is different than individual and group therapy. Some therapists who work with individuals prefer not to work with couples since it’s a different modality and approach to therapy.
Couples may be concerned that the therapist may take sides. It’s very important that you and your partner feel comfortable and that the therapist provides a safe non-judgmental space.
During the first session the therapist will go over the importance of confidentiality and the cancellation policy and make sure you are comfortable with the guidelines and policies. Your first few sessions will be spent talking about what brought you to couples counseling in the first place.
If you want active feedback and guidance, let your couples therapist in NYC know this is important to you. Use your initial sessions as an opportunity to ask any questions you or your partner may have about counseling and their approach to helping you.
Ask the therapist about their hours of operations and if you and your partner can only meet in the evening or weekends make sure they are available during these times. People are also often curious about the frequency of counseling of couples counseling and typically how long couples usually stay in counseling. If want to meet with your couple’s counselor twice a month and only contract for 8 sessions, you want to make sure your couple’s counselor is comfortable with this frequency and short-term model.
You and your partner want to agree that the therapist is the right fit for both of you before you decide to reschedule an appointment and begin the therapeutic relationship with your couple’s counselor in NYC.
Types of Couples Counseling in NYC
You want to ask questions about the modalities the therapist will be using in their approach to the couples counseling. Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT,) Imago Relationship Therapy, and The Gottman Method are researched based modalities and tend to yield good results.
Emotionally Focused Therapy, otherwise known as EFT, is a therapeutic approach specifically focused on relationships, developing deeper connections, and bonding. Imago Therapy is a type of relationship therapy that allows couples to strengthen their connection and heal deep wounds. By helping partners to be more present and empathetic in their conversations with one another, Imago Relationship Therapy gives couples an opportunity to navigate misunderstanding, reduce conflict, and re-establish trust. The Gottman Method for Couples Therapy is to work on developing healthier communication patterns; increase intimacy, respect, and affection and create empathy and understanding for the couple.
Goals of Couples Therapy
You want to share all the reasons you are seeking therapy and your goals. It’s important to understand how the therapist will help meet these goals. You and your partner want to talk about where and how you are both feeling stuck in your relationship. It’s important to include in the discussions childhood issues, relationships with caretakers and how it affects the relationship. As the therapist understands your histories and dynamics of the relationship, they can make an assessment and create an appropriate treatment plan. Goals may also change as you and your partner progress through the therapeutic process.
Couple sessions may include meeting with you and your partner individually as well, especially at the beginning of treatment. These one-on-on sessions allow you to share things with your counselor that you might have been reluctant to share in couples therapy. This gives the couples counselor the chance to get to know you better individually and help you identify and work on issues and build on your strengths.
What You Will Learn
Couples counseling will teach you communication skills and how to process feelings and identify deeper emotions. You want to learn your and your partner’s specific triggers and the emotions and intentions behind reactions. You and your partner develop emotional awareness, compassion and learn to accept one another. The couple’s counselor will help you and your partner replace blame with compassion and empathy.
It’s important to manage expectations as couples counseling is a process and takes time, effort and hard work to strengthen and evolve a relationship.
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If you are suffering from having the same fight over and over again and difficulty communicating with your partner and are interested in starting couples therapy, Contact us at HERE for a complimentary consultation.
The Relationship Suite
We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in relationship counseling. We provide individual and couples therapy in NYC. To find out more about Relationship Counseling CLICK HERE.