The politics and ongoing pressures of the COVID pandemic are a puzzle much of the country is still struggling to piece together. Emotions run high. The anxiety is real. And many couples find that many of the strong sentiments and troubling conflicts hashed out on the nightly news have worked their way into their relationship.
From mask-wearing to social distancing to a trip to the beach, you may find that navigating the “reopened” world has opened a can of virus-related worms in your relationship.
So what now? You, no doubt, feel as strongly about your COVID convictions as your partner. How do you keep your love intact while honoring your individual needs?
Slow Down the Rhetoric and Reactivity
Sometimes relationships need a bit of quiet reflection to help turn things around. In other words, while the world dumps its internet wisdom and streams its views into our homes, it can be difficult to see each other clearly.
Unplug the glowing screens and take time to really assess your own emotions and perspectives.
Keep a Fine Tip On Your Point
Sometimes arguments on important topics can drift into dangerous territory. Take care to keep your conversations about COVID specific and the goodwill high between you. If you find you are rolling your eyes or questioning each other’s intelligence, end the discussion quickly and make your apologies.
Draw Fewer Lines in the COVID Sand
It’s okay if you just don’t fully get where your partner is coming from. It’s not okay to give up on trying to understand where they’re coming from. Why? Because you care about your partner. The heart of your COVID concerns likely center around keeping each other safe and happy. The heart of your relationship is that it is a place where both safely belong and are accepted.
Stay away from ultimatums and demands. Lean into compassion and patience. Get curious without trying to sway each other. It’s okay to disagree, simply try to honor each other’s feelings on the topic sincerely.
Choose Your Battles (and Your Words) Very Carefully
The operative word here is “choose.”
Choose to communicate rather than score points. Choose to compromise rather than battle.
Don’t let the stress and uncertainty of the pandemic become combustible. Your partner is not your enemy. Whatever your viewpoints, you’re in this together. If things boil over between you, be prepared to stand down for the sake of your connection.
Make repair attempts to mend things sooner rather than later and choose to be the partner each other needs.
Bring Back the Fun
COVID has so many couples taking themselves very seriously. Yes, the times are uncertain. Undoubtedly serious decisions must be made. Clearly, major adjustments will take place now and in the future.
However, your relationship need not carry the weight of all that. Instead, let it be your soft place to land. Allow each other to relax and soothe your overworked minds with novel experiences and silly playfulness. Get back to being who you are as quickly as you can after a COVID discussion, put it in perspective, and tap into as much humor as possible.
Talk Things Through with an Objective Supporter
The truth? This pandemic is a highly unusual turn of events. It’s stressful and it changed us in ways we never expected. Still, what’s the beauty in it all? Trying to find the positives together.
Neither of you is alone to face the future. You don’t have to take sides. Agreement on every coronavirus constraint or mandate is not crucial. Simply be willing to work together. The goal is to reliably love and respect each other on the path to common ground.
If you continue to struggle, please read more about couples counseling and feel free to contact me.
The Relationship Suite
We are a group of skilled therapists specializing in couple and marriage therapy. If you want to learn more about our Couples and Marriage therapy services CLICK HERE. To schedule a complimentary consultation by clicking HERE.
